SUPERMOM!

It isn’t having it all or doing it all, but many women of the modern society think they can and should. Over the past few decades, our culture has constantly idealized an unrealistic image of a “supermom”; “a chic woman easily balancing her children, husband, and work all while looking fabulous”. At the first glance, it seems like a cool praise; in fact, the name alludes to “superman”. However, as superb as it may sound, the ultimate message behind it all is: women must fulfill all her roles in both the public and the private spheres, while living up to the high expectations of the society. Yet in reality, dominance in the household is not a result from pure willingness, but a consequence of being forced to adapt to the everyday needs. Many women need help to fulfill all their duties, yet most families cannot afford to hire others to clean their homes. Machines might play a role but they do not help much in terms of time-saving. And although division of labor in the household is critical, it is largely missing in the modern imagery of working moms. The label Supermom also implies that when women work outside the home, motherhood should still be their primary duty. Consequently, many working mothers confirm to this unrealistic standards to retaliate the risk of being perceived or labeled as a bad mother by society, her peers and strangers alike. The pressure from the public is also amplified by the media, which uses fear, celebrity mom profiles, and guilt tactics, to instigate the modern mother’s need for continual perfection. Unfortunately, this need for perfection cripples a mother’s agency and confines her to a realm of mothering that is unattainable and rigorous. Hence, working moms carry extra burdens on their shoulders while having a lack of support from the public and their partners. The idealized conception of Supermom in today’s demanding world gives the public, and men in particular, the idea that women should accept these standards and believe that they must measure up to. While some scholars contend that working mothers are the most guilty of propagating this mothering ideology, women who attempt to combine employment and good mothering are more vulnerable to feelings of failure, anxiety, isolation, and impotency. The collective result women’s effort to pursue this idealized conception of mothering is heavy burden, at “best”, and destruction of self-image and self-esteem, at worst, when they feel that they cannot match up to their expectations. The Supermom mentality also put women in a race to be recognized as a “mother”, in its entirety. But unfortunately, the competition creates an anxiety that causes women to be even more skeptical of other women around them. Hence, the concept of Supermom serves to pit women against each other, rather than join them against the structures that have created the idealization. The image of Supermom is, indeed, a cultural cover up that is built upon traditional ideology to perpetuate itself in the modern society. Women are trapped by being a part of this tyrannical scheme: in order to live up to the image of supermom, women perpetuate the ideology that oppresses them in the first place.