"Boys, They're Just Built Different"

A Different Culture

Over spring break, I had the opportunity to travel to the Middle East, in specific the city of Amman, Jordan. This was especially interesting for me due to the fact that I was taking this course in gender studies at the time. I have traveled extensively through Europe and the United States, and have always considered those two cultures starkly different. However, compared to the culture in the Middle East, they almost seem to be one and the same. Please note that these observations are purely my opinion and should not be considered as facts of truth.

One of the most fundamental feature of the Jordanian culture turned out to be that it seems extremely faith-based. The United States prides itself in trying to separate church and state, yet that separation in Jordan is nearly impossible if even some of the most basic and most commonly used expressions have roots in religious meanings. For example, instead of saying "we'll see" as a response to any questions asked, one often hears "inshallah," meaning, roughly, "if God wills it." Greetings are also always religious-based, and the entire mentality is based on the belief that one does not have so much control over their destiny - instead, God controls the majority of it.

This mentality seems to let especially women live their lives happily. Even though it is common knowledge and obvious that women do not have the same privileges as men do in the society, women seem to accept things the way they are without having much desire to change it, since God, after all, willed their lives to be that way.

But even though this sounds depressing and degrading, it does have its benefits. For example, plastic surgery is seemingly of no concern in the country to the female population. Even though homosexuals seem to be equally as oppressed, if not worse, than women, it is not necessarily injust for them not to be able to comfortably display signs of affection in public, because heterosexual couples are also scorned at for showing such signs in public.

Yet everyone seems to not mind the situation they're in, because they've been growing up being used to such a system, to the point that anything else would feel estranged and foreign to them. In short, ignorance seems to be bliss. This is one of the most interesting and difficult concepts to understand if it's not seen in person. This explains to me Simone De Beauvoir's question of why women have no desire to organize themselves to fight oppression, simply because familiarity feels comfortable. It's an interesting issue that I would like to explore further in the future in much greater detail, to see exactly the reasons behind this lack of organization and lack of desire for change.

Domestic Laborers and Sexual Harassment

Many domestic laborers that illegally reside in countries other than their own may be subject to sexual harassment. Interviews with many domestic laborers suggest that most women are subject to sexual harassment, sexual suggestions or ill treatment by their employers. Because of their only option at making some money, they cannot even exercise their rights or seek for protection.

Exploitation of undocumented domestic workers is accepted by our society. Society expects undocumented workers to accept the least desirable jobs for the least amount of pay. They are expected to put up with abusive working environments and no benefits.

Women, and Abortion

          We all know that the topic of abortion has been a main issue in our society for decades. Should a woman have the right to choose if she wants to carry out a pregnancy, or should the embryo that is in her uterus be treated in the same regards as any other human and be given the right to live? Both of these questions can lead to many disagreements within people due to different morals, religious views, and their views on basic human rights. 

          While abortion is currently legal in some states such as California, we can all see how illegal abortion has affected women around the globe. Women who live in countries or states with illegal abortion have taken steps such as inserting knitting needles or clothes hangers into the uterus in order to cause trauma to the abdomen which results in a self-abortion their child. This is 98% of the time seen in developing countries where there is no means of having an abortion and there are also many restrictions. It is said that approximately every eighteenth minute, a woman in a developing country dies of self-induced abortion. This shows that even if there is no way possible to obtain a safe abortion, women will continue to make the choice weather to carry out her pregnancy or not. These abortions account for approximately 13% of all maternal deaths.  Society doesn't realize that if abortion was legal and easier to obtain, that there would be a drastic decrease in maternal deaths (which take the life of both the child and the mother). Instead of putting the money and effort into making abortion illegal and forcing women to continue  with their pregnancies, the states should put effort into having abortion available to women who are not able to have a child. This is just one of the many reasons why abortion needs to be legal for women to have the choice because it could prevent further deaths. 

The disadvantages domestic workers face and their dilemmas

In Vietnam, domestic work is considered one of the lowest status and low pay field. Because domestic jobs such as cleaning, washing, and child-rearing are originally unpaid works that could be done within the immediate family, they are seen as having low market value. Since these works are not valued by the society, it seems fair to impose low pay and social status to domestic workers. There is also a vicious circle of domestic work being perceived as demeaning and of little value because women do it, and women do it because it is considered demeaning and of low value. What people often do not realize is the fact that domestic work is necessary for the production surplus value. Not only does domestic work provide services to meet the daily needs of the employers for them to fulfill other jobs in the society, nurturing and educating children also produce the next generation of workers. Hence, although the capitalist division of labor relies on these tasks being done, domestic workers do not gain “value” in the sense of wage that can be recognized, valued, and quantified by the public like the other professions.

Moreover, we often do not think of the kind of sacrifices domestic workers face in order to fulfill their jobs. Back home in Vietnam, my family has three domestic workers working for us. We see them as part of our family, and they enjoy working for us. However, being a full-time domestic workers means spending most of their life at the client’s home; they all have to leave their families behind. Although they love taking care of my younger brother and love him as if he was their son, they cannot hide their sadness when they think about all the things that they did for my brother that they could have done for their children and nephews. When they take care of my grandparents, they cannot help but feel guilty when they cannot do the same thing for their parents or be there when their families need them. And although they are supporting their families through monetary means, they are unable to support them emotionally and complete their duties towards them. On one hand they face the constraints of being domestic workers. On the other hand, they cannot perform the duties to their families as women because they are busy performing them at someone else’s home. Hence, not only do female domestic workers struggle because of their lack of value in the marketplace, they also struggle with their emotional dilemmas.

Gender-neutral classrooms

 In Sweden many preschools have stopped using gendered pronouns when referring to their students. So they call all of their students Hen’s or buddies instead of boys and girls.  One of the schools cut out playtime because there is a “hierarchy, exclusion, and seed to bulling” in playtime.  This is all in effort to support gender neutrality and not to weigh children down with gender norms and stereotypes.

I understand why some schools are doing this I just think that they are going to far. I don’t think that they are realizing that the pressures that come with gender stereotypes are not produced by the pronouns, but how children are socialized. I think that instead of banning playtime they should try and make children feel like they can play with any toy or any sport. To make sure that they do not feel limited. 

Lady Gaga's Influence

Lady Gaga has recently caused a lot of drama with this tweet she posted on April 10. She hashtagged that pop stars don't eat, bringing to light that she diets and exercises to maintain her small frame. Critics are upset because she preaches that people should be happy with how they are, yet she contradicts this by changing her body to conform to the entertainment industry's standard of how she should look. I think what a lot people forget is that celebrities are just normal people and face the same pressures to look a certain way. And if it was any other celebrity, I don't believe that this would be that big of an issue, but because it's Lady Gaga, it makes her look like a hypocrite.
By tweeting this information, this also brings to light that celebrities go to extreme measure to look a certain way. When some female entertainers are interviewed about what they do to look a certain way, many avoid the question by saying they don't diet or they really enjoy working out. However, in actuality, celebrities are constantly dieting and work extremely hard to look thin. I think if the public know how difficult it is for them to maintain a diet or to wake up at 4 am to work out, I think people would not compare themselves so harshly to the famous.